Tools for High-risk Youth Ministry
Building Relationships, A Key to Being Effective
Justin Marbury, Executive Director

If you've been a part of the ministry of LifeQuest for very long then you have heard me harp on he importance of building relationships and the primacy of mentoring.  It's worth restating the reason why.  As human beings, created in the image of God, we are social by nature.  This social nature makes us fundamentally relational and the relationships that we have both define and influence us.  Through relationships we develop our beliefs or worldview.  Based upon our worldview, which includes our beliefs about right and wrong and assignments of value to ourselves and the world around us, we establish our identity and attitudes about life.  Then, finally, as a natural result of our relationships, beliefs and attitudes our behavior flows forth.  In other words, if our lives are a tree, our relationships are something like the roots and our behavior, the fruits.  By now I hope the application is obvious.  As a mentor, what is the first thing you notice when you begin meeting with a young man or woman?  If you're like me, you notice all the behaviors that need to change.  And as a well meaning adult, your first impulse will be to correct that behavior as quickly as possible.  Resist that temptation and remember the tree.  If you will take the time to build a relationship and earn their respect, then you will gain the influence to be used by Christ to reshape their worldview and their Identity.  The natural result of this process will be fruit (behavior) that is healthy, true and enduring.  Try to change the behavior outright and you will at best find artificial fruit, pinned on a tree that is dead from the roots on up.  There is much more that could be said about this and much more that the analogy reveals, but I hope that from this you will commit afresh or perhaps for the first time to make your ministry to high-risk youth about building relationships for transformation.